Sunday, May 28, 2006
"i dont need you coz u dont need me"
saw this arnd on somebody's nick......
isnt it kinda like...an oxymoron or sth?...
u cant stop caring simply coz somebody doesnt need you anymore...
you still care........
your just tryin to attribute blame so you appear as an aggrieved party...
.....is it just me.....or am i in a......really negative frame of mind...-___-"
its impossible to cntrl or dispose of one's emotions simply coz its wise to do so...
those who say that....are either supremely disciplined....or foolish...
there is no right or wrong....there is merely perspective
-Blogged at 5/28/2006 10:52:00 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
One way of understanding loneliness is to notice that it occurs for all of us whenever our expectations suddenly change.
Feelings of loneliness occur both at times of success and at times of loss and failure. Loneliness and the fear of loneliness can be found at the root of every emotional blockage a person has - either as the cause of the blockage, "If I say or do that, people might not like me and I'll be alone," or as a way to keep the blockage in place.
Loneliness is a real emotion, so it has both positive and negative aspects.
negative
a) The negative aspects - emptiness, tears, self-pity, separation, insomnia, fear and panic - are familiar to all of us; and
b) The fear of loneliness has additional negatives manipulative behavior, loss of intimacy and commitment, despair, feelings of guilt and /or being victimized, not trusting oneself, being enslaved by a fragile ego and withdrawal from living a full and complete existence.
positive
a) Because we are so carefully taught to fear loneliness, few people know how to experience the positive aspects of these sudden shifts in expectation, which are also real and of value;
b) These feelings help us to identify what is important to us as individuals, and to gain self-confidence in our own capabilities; and
c) They act as guideposts, showing us where we need to look, explore and grow.
building self-confidence
The message you give your friend about who s/he is and what s/he is capable of influences his/her relationship with loneliness because those messages affect your friend's self-confidence.
You help your friend triumph over loneliness when you make a habit of focusing your attention, acknowledging and appreciating each small step in your friend's development of self-confidence and his/her ability to cope with unexpected change.
Begin to recognize that "all-alone feeling" we label "loneliness" as a wonderful time of openness and no expectations, an opportunity to pause and take a breath between different experiences, relationships and activities.
Learning to enjoy and take full advantage of this in-between time allows you to complete processing and healing old experiences, activities or relationships so that you can concentrate on new ones feeling refreshed and ready.
Because there are different kinds of loneliness, we need slightly different approaches in order to heal them all. They include:
- MOURNING The feeling of sorrow that occurs following a death, a loss or a perceived loss. The sudden changes that occur following death or loss emphasize a separateness which your friend may not have noticed before s/he suddenly feels lonely. This loneliness can be very constructive, allowing time for re-dedication and adjustment to change;
- NOSTALGIA A kind of loneliness for the past which can occur when a family has experienced a move, a divorce or another significant change of events. Burdened with the loneliness of nostalgia, your friend may stay so focused on what has been that s/he does not experience life fully in the present;
- THE "WHAT NEXT?" STAGE This is often experienced as "loneliness of the future." Afraid to face the fear of loneliness, the friend may become stuck and feel paralyzed, unable to solve problems in the present problems which must be addressed before moving on to future challenges and successes;
- ABANDONMENT This type of loneliness occurs when a person feels alone after being abandoned, either physically or emotionally. The sense of panic at being entirely alone overshadows everything else. People will do anything to avoid this panic;
- BEING ALONE The feeling of separateness and space between you and others is often experienced as, or called, "loneliness." Once your friend really experiences this aloneness, s/he may enjoy it. Much exploration, creativity and even pleasure can occur when a person is alone.
A lonely person may exhibit a number of these characteristics:
- Depression;
- Over- or under-eating;
- Lack of self-confidence;
- Self-pity;
- Insecurity;
- Withdrawal;
- Clinginess;
- Timidity;
- Helplessness;
- Confusion;
- Reclusiveness; and
- Obsession with being "popular," even if just superficially.
Your friend may behave in ways that are frustrating to you because of his/her fear of loneliness.
Fearful of being rejected, abandoned or humiliated - thereby being left alone and falling into the dreaded abyss of loneliness - your friend may develop these habits in order to avoid facing loneliness.
In his/her mind, loneliness may be so abhorrent s/he feels willing to do anything to avoid it.taken from http://www.thisisawar.com/RelationLoneliness.htm
-Blogged at 5/14/2006 09:34:00 PM
Thursday, May 04, 2006
sleep is for the weak
feel the emo-ness
-Blogged at 5/04/2006 01:39:00 AM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
"She holds me when I start to cry, makes me smile with just her eyes.
She shares my hopes, dreams, fears and wipes away all my tears.
I love her without regret, I just haven't found her yet..."
"I wont be hurt again.."
i once thought i had found something
yet maybe not
-Blogged at 5/03/2006 12:30:00 AM
知道不能太依赖，怕你会把我宠坏
我舍不得离开
我想我太过依赖
在挂电话的刚才
是啊。。。被宠坏了。。。所以念念不忘不肯放弃
even though it meant nothin to you
it did mean something to me
hah...
mmm come to think of it im kinda reliant on people nowadays..>.<
like i generally stick arnd with moses and daph...
just lounging arnd..haha
somehow i find it harder and harder to speak nowadays.......
hah
ghosts of the pasts?
or am i merely clenching the pain to torture myself...
somehow i think its the latter
they know my name yet they know me not...
come to think of it who does know me....
like moses...who actually know moses>.<
people think they know him yet they dont...
hah
oh and we did some birthday dates thingy and its kinda accurate for me and mo...
he claimed mine was a coincidence then he got owned when his was kinda accurate as well>.<
wow....
oh but then daph's one was waaaay off lol...so wateva guess its just some random coincidence=p
lalala..
or its designed specially for us! woohooo
moses is a freakin World State Controller i tell you-___-
seeing too much aint good...yet i cant escape from reality...in the end it bites back...hard....
-Blogged at 5/03/2006 12:11:00 AM
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
| Your Birthdate: December 7 |
 You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy.
And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you.
Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights.
You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice!
Your strength: Your self sufficiency
Your weakness: You despise authority
Your power color: Maroon
Your power symbol: Hammer
Your power month: July |
-Blogged at 5/02/2006 10:53:00 PM
